Let’s talk about Corporate America for a second. Where to begin? There is a lot we could talk about; how it can serve and how it can destroy. As an employee of Corporate America, I struggle with many of its different facets all the while I am kept fed and housed by it. So yes, I serve it and it serves me, but that does not mean I will not criticize it where it needs to be criticized and I will not rest until it is changed in certain ways.
One of the aspects I see needs to be addressed is the mentality that many corporate workers carry with them at all times: that what they are doing is the most important task ever and when something goes wrong it is literally the end of the world.
A typical corporate reaction over nothing.
Working for a large corporation and interacting with many others, I am often witness to scenes of utter panic and chaos over the most trivial of issues. I am a spectator of business peoples vehemently arguing over how impactful their strategic plan is and how it absolutely must be executed with the utmost care and importance or else. And sadly, I am bystander watching people making their work place and tasks the center of their lives while they neglect the riches they have outside of the offices – family, friends, opportunities for, you know, actually living.
It all drives me crazy.
Crazy I tell you.
Sometimes I ignore it. Sometimes I remark sarcastically about it (because I am a prince of sarcasm). Sometimes it makes me so angry that I practice ujjayi pranayama at my desk just like I teach in my yoga classes.
Most corporations produce goods or sell services. Sure, many of these goods and services are very useful, and some may even argue important. However, when something goes wrong within one of these corporations, the level of reaction is not at all proportionate with the problem itself. Everything is not just blown out of proportion, it’s not just blown out of this world, it is blown all the way out of the Milky Way Galaxy to Andromeda (the aliens out there probably think we are bat-shit crazy and that’s why they only come around so often).
You ridiculous humans.
In my corporate experiences, I cannot tell you how often I have watched something go “wrong”, and then witnessed the chain of reactions throughout the organizations on levels so absurdly extreme that one would think an asteroid was tumbling toward Earth and all was lost.
With every little problem that arises –
Rome is burning
The zombies are among us
And the Antichrist has risen.
With every decision that must be made, these corporate slaves discuss the possibilities so seriously that you would think they were deciding whether or not to invade a neighboring country or drop a nuke on another nation, but they are really just trying to figure out what their next commercial should say.
PEOPLE! Is any of this really that important? In the scheme of things, does it really make a difference? Are you saving lives? Are you solving world hunger? Are you figuring out how to fix this often broken world? NO! YOU’RE NOT! So take a deep breath, light a candle, have a cookie (or better yet, an apple with some almond butter) and please chill the F*** out.
Let us breathe.
Now, please don’t let me be misunderstood, this is not to say that people’s jobs and interests are unimportant. I am sure whatever you and your friends do has its worth. I am simply saying that in American businesses, we take ourselves WAY too seriously.
We no longer look at the big picture; if we did, we would see that even when there is a big business problem, the sun will rise tomorrow and life will go on. If we could shift our mental perspectives to “Oh dear, yes this is an issue, but it’s not the end of the world,” then we would probably be able to face said issues with clearer, calmer minds which would make us feel better overall and wouldn’t affect the people around us negatively.
Corporate America has to stop making itself sick with worry and stress. It has to stop taking a minute problem and morphing it into a monster to use and terrorize all those within email-distance. It has to stop creating such negative energies over issues that in the scheme of the world don’t actually make a lasting impact. It has to stop taking itself so seriously that its people can no longer actually live their lives and enjoy them.
So please my soldiers of the corporate world, work well and work hard, but remember what is really important in life and don’t let your work and its problems overshadow it. Please take a breath. Please chill the F*** out.
Johnny La Pasta 